He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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