we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
