Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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