Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
