it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
