Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
