Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
