Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
