youre lurking in front of me
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
