You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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