Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
