New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
