I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
