Don't you send me to vm
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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