We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
