weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
