your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
