Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize