I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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