I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
