She is in my trunk
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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