If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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