I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
