I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Nicole vs. Life
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
