jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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