its not stalking. its research.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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