I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
