I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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