dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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