Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize