Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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