Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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