I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The feeling are messing with the penis
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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