I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
