so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
