So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
