Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize