You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
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