I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
