he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
