Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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