Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
