I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
