there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she peed on how many people?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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