I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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