Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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