if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
