I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
