You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
