do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
