think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
