I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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