I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
