Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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