Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
