I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
