And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
