I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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