That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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