Don't worry. I has chaperone.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
