SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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