She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
