is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have aggressive nipples.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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